Today's rumours are big boned
As avid readers of this column will have noticed from the fact that it makes the same joke about John O'Shea being big boned every day, the Mill doesn't like change. So the prospect of Cesc F�bregas actually moving to Barcelona fills us with dread. What's the Mill to do without its staple rumour? Leave the office? Make some phone calls? Do some research?
Luckily, Chelsea are here to save the day. Yep, according to the Mirror they've signed Barcelona's 17-year-old striker Gael Etock from the Catalans' finishing school ? the Mill imagines this is a place in the Swiss Alps where you learn how to pass dead good and develop a massive sense of self-satisfaction ? which means we can all look forward to "Etock: I want to return to Bar�a" rumours for the next seven years.
Chelsea aren't finished there though. They're after the greatest playmaker this side of Sir Trevor Nunn, Javier Pastore. Here's Palermo president Maurizio Zamparini, who is in no way trying to push up Pastore's price. "Pastore is a phenomenal player and there are three or four clubs interested in him," said Zamparini. "I am a businessman and I will not lose my cool, but it is clear that clubs who want Pastore must have the economic power to submit a proposal. Chelsea are one of the clubs concerned."
Ars�ne Wenger is planning what to do with the cash he generates from proposed deals for F�bregas, Ga�l Clichy and Samir Nasri and the Sun reckons they've all but signed Gervinho from Lille. He's also said to be after Anderlecht's 11-year-old striker Romelu Lukaku for �18m and, wait for it, Manchester United's big-boned utility man John O'Shea. An unproven striker and John O'Shea, that will appease the angry focaccia-munching hordes in north London then.
Wenger should sign someone good, like Charles N'Zogbia. But Alex McLeish ? who's probably quite happy he's not at Birmingham City right now ? has already thought of that one and hopes to wrap up a �9m deal in the next 114 hours.
Spurs have got strikers on the brain like they were a radical teachers' union. Or just a normal teachers' union. Anyway, they'll sell Robbie Keane and Roman Pavlyuchenko and using that cash and a little bit of charm, they'll snap up Athletic Bilbao striker Fernando Llorente for �20m. If that bid fails they'll go for Villarreal's Giuseppi Rossi, the man with the most Italian name in football.
Staying in the striking world, Fulham, Stoke, Sunderland and QPR are all in the frame to buy DJ Campbell from Blackpool. The Seasiders are also offering a Charlie Adam for �9m if you're interested.
West Brom are looking to fill a Scott Carson-shaped hole ? think of a large hole sucking tame shots into a net ? by signing Tomasz Kuszczak from Manchester United for �2.5m. Fulham don't really have that many holes but that won't stop them buying Leeds winger Max Gradel.
Leicester are about to sign former footballer Jonathan Woodgate. Then they'll sign Craig Mackail-Smith for �3m. Oh and Lazio will sign West Ham midfielder and author of Madame Bovary, Julien Faubert. The Mill's done that joke before too but, as we say, change is a terrible thing.
Source: http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2011/jul/01/the-rumour-mill-chelsea-javier-pastore
Rihanna Dolomites Public sector cuts Beach holidays Terrorism policy Shola Ameobi
No comments:
Post a Comment