Friday, December 31, 2010

Upstairs Downstairs wins its slot, but Downton Abbey did it better

BBC period drama scores 7.5 million viewers, while Top Gear, Benidorm and Holby City also prove popular

UPSTAIRS DOWNTON ABBEY

Upstairs Downstairs, BBC1, 9pm, Boxing Day ? BBC1's three-part return to the period drama classic, beaten to the punch by ITV1 rival Downton Abbey, began with 7.541 million viewers, a 28.4% share of the audience, between 9pm and 10pm on Boxing Day.

Stripped over three successive nights, Upstairs Downstairs slipped to 6.665 million (24.6%) on Monday 27 December before bouncing back a little to 6.882 million, a 26.5% share, on Tuesday 28 December.

It won its slot each night, beating ITV1's sitcom Benidorm on Boxing Day, which averaged 5.556 million with another 461,000 on ITV HD, a total share of 21.3%.

Monday night's episode beat ITV1's Agatha Christie's Marple, which averaged 3.976 million with another 242,000 on ITV HD, a 16% share.

Tuesday's concluding instalment of the BBC1 period drama beat ITV1's Will Smith terrestrial movie premiere I Am Legend, which had 4.276 million viewers between 9pm and 10.50pm, and another 379,000 on ITV HD, a share of 19.1%.

But it failed to match the ratings impact of Downton Abbey, which finished with 10.7 million viewers and was ITV1's most successful drama for almost seven years. It remains to be seen whether Upstairs Downstairs ? starring Keeley Hawes, Ed Stoppard and Dame Eileen Atkins ? will be commissioned for a full series.

TOP GEAR, TOP RATINGS

Top Gear, BBC2, 8pm, Boxing Day ? The festive edition of the motoring show, in which Clarkson, Hammond and May followed the path of the three wise men, averaged 5.863 million viewers, a 21.5% share, with another 546,000 on BBC HD.

It gave BBC2 a rare ratings victory over ITV1. Its movie premiere, The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, had a total audience including ITV1 HD of 4.2 million, a 17.5% share, between 6.20pm and 8.30pm.

It also beat ITV1's Harry Hill's Best of Christmas TV Burp, which had 3 million viewers, a 10.8% share, between 8.30pm and 9pm.

The Top Gear special was followed by BBC2's Live Aid drama When Harvey Met Bob. But three-quarters of the Top Gear audience melted away, the drama averaging 1.137 million viewers, a 4.7% share, with another 43,000 on BBC HD between 9.15pm and 10.45pm.

ALL CHANNEL 4 WANTS FOR CHRISTMAS IS ... THE NEW YEAR

Porridge, Channel 4, 7.10pm, Bank Holiday Monday ? In a subdued festive period for Channel 4's peaktime schedules, this repeat of the 31-year-old big-screen Porridge spin-off still managed 1.213 million viewers, a 4.4% share, with another 131,000 viewers on Channel 4+1.

Channel 4's primetime Boxing Day offering was dominated by a rapid repeat of 100 Greatest Toys with Jonathan Ross, which averaged 948,000, a 3.7% share, between 6.55pm and 10pm.

THE DUKE'S STILL GOT IT

Rooster Cogburn, Channel 5, 5.05pm, Bank Holiday Monday ? The Porridge movie was old, but Rooster Cogburn, made in 1975, was even older. Nevertheless, the John Wayne western earned its spurs as Channel 5's most watched programme of Bank Holiday Monday, with an average of 1.057 million viewers, a 4.7% share between 5.05pm and 7.05pm.

But it was no match for Channel 4's Celebrity Come Dine With Me, which averaged 2.352 million viewers, an 11% share, between 5pm and 6pm with another 348,000 viewers on Channel 4+1.

Channel 5 raided the archives for a host of classic festive offerings, including a 1974 Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em Christmas special, which was its most popular programme on Boxing Day with 1.480 million, a 5.5% share at 7.55pm on Boxing Day.

The Michael Crawford sitcom followed a repeat of the 1985 edition of Top of the Pops, which was watched by 1.071 million viewers (4.6%) at 6.40pm on Boxing Day and another 631,000 (4.7%) when it was repeated ? again ? at 12.40pm the following day. It just goes to show viewers can't get enough Shakin' Stevens.

NOT JUST WILLIAM

Just William, BBC1, 12.30pm, Bank Holiday Tuesday ? The new adaptation of the children's classic starring Outnumbered's Daniel Roche began with 1.819 million viewers, a 15.5% share between 12.30pm and 1pm.

FAREWELL FAYE AND CONNIE

Holby City, BBC1, 8pm, Bank Holiday Tuesday ? Patsy Kensit, who played Faye, and Amanda Mealing, as Connie, bowed out of the long-running hospital drama with 6.882 million viewers, a 26.5% share of the audience.

It easily had the better of ITV1's hidden camera retrospective Smile: That Was Candid Camera, which averaged 2.862 million viewers, an 11.2% share, between 8pm and 9pm, with another 165,000 on ITV1 HD.

STILL LIFE IN GOOD LIFE

The Good Life, BBC2, Bank Holiday Tuesday ? And finally, back to the 1970s again, where a 1977 Christmas special, part of a themed night of programmes around The Good Life, was BBC2's most-watched programme of the night with 2.701 million viewers, a 10.5% share.

It was bookended by a pair of documentaries ? a repeat of Funny Turns: Penelope Keith, and All About the Good Life, which had 2.368 million (9.4%) and 2.142 million (8.2%) respectively.

All ratings are Barb overnight figures, including live and same day timeshifted (recorded) viewing, but excluding on demand, +1 or other ? unless otherwise stated. Figures for BBC1, ITV1, Channel 4 and Channel 5 generally include ratings for their HD simulcast services, unless otherwise stated

? To contact the MediaGuardian news desk email editor@mediaguardian.co.uk or phone 020 3353 3857. For all other inquiries please call the main Guardian switchboard on 020 3353 2000.

? If you are writing a comment for publication, please mark clearly "for publication".


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Lennon's Abbey Road suit on sale

Off-white two-piece up for auction at Braswell galleries in Connecticut, alongside brown velvet jacket from film Imagine

Forget the high-street sales, there is only one purchase a truly dedicated fashionista should consider making tomorrow: the white suit worn by John Lennon on the cover of the Beatles' Abbey Road album.

The off-white two-piece is up for auction at Braswell galleries in Connecticut, alongside the brown velvet embroidered fleur-de-lys jacket the musician wore during the film Imagine, made in 1971 with his wife Yoko Ono.

The auction house claims that together, these items represent "the ultimate in rock and roll collectibles". The white suit was custom-made in Paris in 1969 by the designer Ted Lapidus. Lennon wore it with white plimsolls for the cover shoot by the Scots photographer Iain Macmillan, which pictured the band striding over the zebra crossing outside Abbey Road Studios in London. Featuring two buttons, wide lapels and flared hems, the suit is, says auction house owner Kathy Braswell, very small. "He was 5ft 10in and very thin. It's a slim suit."

The suit previously sold at auction for $120,000, in 2005 and is now given up by an anonymous collector of Lennon memorabilia, along with a 1972 green Chrysler station wagon once owned by Lennon and Ono.

Lennon gave the clothes to his friend Richard Ross, owner of the Home club in Manhattan. When Ross died, the suit stayed with Lennon's first wife, Cynthia, in New York until 1996, when an unnamed singer bought it.


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Know your rights: unwanted presents

Our post-Christmas guide to consumers' retail rights will help sort out gift returns and refund-related problems

It is that awkward time between Christmas and the new year when the only worthwhile thing you can achieve is work out what on earth to do with all those presents that you don't like or which are faulty.

Although you have a veritable battery of legal rights to protect you, retailers do not always make it easy for you to get what you are entitled to.

Forewarned is forearmed, of course. Before Christmas, the consumer group Which?'s Legal Service advised festive shoppers to check returns policies and to routinely keep all receipts. A survey carried out by Which? Legal Service showed that while 9.9 million consumers had tried to return an unwanted gift in the last two years, 82% of those had difficulty getting a refund.

Geoffrey Woodroffe, author of the new edition of Woodroffe and Lowe's Consumer Law and Practice, published by Sweet & Maxwell, said: "Shoppers put enormous trust in high street brands and find it hard to believe that so many major retailers either get the law wrong or deliberately try to mislead consumers about their rights."

Our post-Christmas guide to your consumer retail rights will help you through the maze:

Is time on my side?

It is best to take things back as quickly as possible ? particularly if a gift is faulty, not as described or not fit for purpose. If you do so within four weeks you will usually get a full refund as you are unlikely to be seen as having "accepted" the goods. But after that you can only expect exchange, repair or part-refund.

I don't have a receipt for the present I want to take back. Can I still return it?

By law, a trader is not obliged to give you a receipt, so by the same token the buyer doesn't have to provide one when returning an item. As such, you may be able to return an item without a receipt, but you should be able to provide some form of proof of purchase. This will mean going back to the person who gave you the present if he or she still has a credit card slip or a statement that will prove when and where the item was purchased.

My grandma bought me a jumper that is ghastly and which I will never wear, even though it fits me. Can I take it back to the shop?

That depends. Shops are not legally obliged to accept returns unless they were faulty when they were bought, they are not as described or they are not fit for purpose. If it just does not fit you properly, or you don't like it, you have no automatic right to return it.

However, many shops have their own returns policy ? particularly when it comes to Christmas gifts ? so you may find the shop is willing to accept your unwanted item. The shop's own policy has no impact on your legal rights under the Sale of Goods Act.

Many retailers will happily refund or exchange gifts without question, especially if the item was clearly bought from them. In some cases, though, if you want to secretly return a gift without telling the person who gave it to you, you may find it tricky without a gift receipt.

The shop's manager insists I have to go back to the manufacturer about the problem ? is that the case?

No. The person who bought your gift has a contract with the vendor, not the manufacturer, so it is down to the shop to deal with any problems.

What are my rights on sale goods?

Signs saying "No Return On Sale Goods" are commonplace but are actually illegal. If goods purchased are faulty or not as described, consumers still have their usual rights.

Are there any goods that are not refundable?

Many items such as CDs, DVDs and computer games for example can be refused a refund if they are no longer sealed. Fresh foods and flowers also fall into this category, along with personalised items which have been monogrammed or engraved with your name.

Do I have to accept a credit note?

If the gift is faulty, your rights under the Sale of Goods Act kick in. Under these circumstances you do not have to accept a credit note and are entitled to ask for your money back. In fact, if a shop puts up a sign telling customers it will only offer credit notes ? even in the case of faulty goods ? it may be acting illegally. However, if you just don't like your present, the shop is not obliged to let you return it. In this instance, some stores may offer a credit note as a gesture of goodwill.

My husband bought me some clothing online but I do not like it. Can I return it?

Not only are you covered by the same laws that protect consumers shopping on the high street, but there is some extra help for online shoppers. While some retailers may have more generous policies, under the Consumer Protection (Distance Selling) regulations 2000, you have seven working days from the date the item was delivered to cancel the order and return a gift ordered online, even if it's just because you don't like it. The retailer should then refund you within 30 days of you cancelling the order.

My boyfriend bought me a pair of designer trainers but it turns out they are fakes. What can I do?

You may be able to use your statutory rights against the seller ? as the goods may not be as described. For further advice on this you should contact Consumer Direct on 08454 040506. If you paid by credit card, you may be able to claim a refund from your card issuer, if the price was more than �100 (but not more than �30,000).


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Retailers hope fear of VAT increase will fuel weekend shopping spree

? Stores left with stock after snow deterred customers
? Some plan to hold prices despite 2.5% tax increase

Shoppers are expected to go on a final "beat the VAT" spending spree this weekend as they try to save money on major purchases such as sofas and TVs before retailers start pushing up prices on Tuesday.

Argos, Comet and Dixons as well as DIY chains Homebase and B&Q are running last-gasp promotions to pull in shoppers. VAT is increasing from 17.5% to 20% just as higher rail fares and petrol and domestic fuel price rises kick in.

Richard Hyman, strategic retail adviser at Deloitte, said it would be one of the busiest shopping weekends. John Lewis has already broken records with its sale. "There is pent-up demand," said Hyman, adding that many retailers had been left with more stock than expected as a result of the pre-Christmas snow.

The bad weather came at a time of year when retailers rake in most of their profits, and the majority of store chiefs are anticipating that sales will be lower than in 2009, according to a recent study by the British Retail Consortium.

The retail sector employs nearly 3 million people and there are concerns the tough environment could see smaller chains and independents go to the wall as consumers struggle with the economic realities.

The VAT rise will add an estimated �158 a year to essential bills for the average household, according to research by uSwitch.com. VAT aside, food and clothing prices are already going up as retailers import inflation from overseas caused by increases in labour costs and the price of raw materials such as cotton in east Asia.

The shadow chancellor, Alan Johnson, has called for the VAT rise to be delayed amid fears public spending cuts could hamper the country's recovery. "The increase in VAT will hit people hard when people can least afford it," he said.

There have already been casualties with womenswear group Alexon warning in December that its profits had been dented by the snow, while others are battling structural decline as sales shift online. Analysts believe HMV will be forced to close some stores as high-street sales of DVDs and CDs continue to tumble.

"The VAT rise is significant when you look at the bigger picture," said Hyman. "It is a 2.5% government-imposed price increase at a time when there are all sorts of downward pressures on people's disposable income. What will happen is retailers will have 2.5% lopped off their sales."

The challenging environment has seen new chains such as Clas Ohlson of Sweden and American giant Best Buy rein in UK expansion plans, while major chains such as Marks & Spencer and John Lewis, which have large home furnishing and clothing businesses, are trying to limit the shock to consumers caused by next week's tax changes.

M&S said it was holding the price of some entry-level products such as women's jogging pants at �9.50 but warned others would rise as new ranges arrive in stores in the coming weeks.

Furniture Village, one of the UK's biggest furniture chains, said it was not passing on the increase until March while John Lewis said its "never knowingly undersold" price promise meant it would also hold back.

"We will be the last retailer to make any price increases," said a John Lewis spokesman. "That being said we have, in the same way as all other retailers, seen a previous VAT rise as well as import prices going up. So although we have absorbed a great deal of these costs, some prices will increase."

Howard Archer, chief UK and European economist at IHS Global Insight, said Britons would use the remainder the holiday to "make purchases they could increasingly struggle to make in 2011".

He believes consumer spending will rise by just 1% in real terms this year with the Boxing Day sales simply sucking forward spending.

"Consumer confidence is currently low and the substantial fiscal squeeze will increasingly hit public-sector jobs and consumers' pockets," he said.


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Coffee and calories in chilly Gothenburg

Residents of Sweden's second city are expert at dodging the winter winds in cosy, sociable cafes

The Swedes have a phrase, "Ska vi fika?", which translates literally as: "Shall we have a coffee break?" But it denotes an awful lot more than that. It's a heartily embraced cultural tradition involving friends, coffee and a cosy corner in a warm cafe.

"It's a social thing. You can have a fika on your own but it's more about getting together, chatting, catching up," explained Lena Larsson, a Gothenburg native who first introduced me to the concept.

Gothenburg is a cold and windy coastal city, sitting at the mouth of the Gota river, equidistant from Copenhagen and Oslo. Its history is of trade and heavy industry ? Volvo and Ericsson have factories in the area. A network of canals, created by Dutch city planners in the 17th century, crisscross the city, leaving big open areas for winds to whistle down. So the locals know a thing or two about keeping warm.

Lena's enthusiastic adoption of fika means when she walks into Mauritz's caf� on Fredsgatan she orders "a number six" ? coffee with an apple cinnamon bun ? rather than going through the long process of actually reading the menu.

"Gothenburg people are so happy and open," said Annika Larsson (no relation to Lena) who edits ilovegoteborg.se. We were enjoying our first fika of the day, sitting wrapped up against the cold outside Cafe Kronhuset (cafekronhuset.se), on a peaceful, cobbled square in the oldest part of Gothenburg. "It's great in winter because it looks so pretty and there are so many places you can go indoors to sit, have a coffee, and watch the world go by."

First stop on our fika tour was Haga. The area is hailed as the arty, bohemian heart of Gothenburg, with pastel-coloured buildings lining its three main cobbled arteries. In truth it embraces bohemia in a very refined, very Swedish way, vintage hat stores and jewellery shops mixing with chilled-out cafes. Stepping into Caf� Kringlan on Haga Nygata was like getting a big hug from a slightly overweight farmer's wife clad in head-to-toe Prada. The cafe is immaculate in its cosiness ? cinnamon buns beautifully laid out on the counter, the lattes a swirling work of art. Two girls were sitting in a corner laughing and gossiping.

Equally enticing, to the left of Caf� Kringlan, is Le Petit Caf�, a coffee shop sweet enough to cause your teeth to fall out on entry, with pastel-coloured blankets for those sitting outside to wrap themselves up in.

Two buns down and it was time to move on. I took refuge in Cigarren, a caf� with a masculine colour scheme ? brown ? and a floor-to-ceiling humidor. Clearly pastry was not this place's raison d'etre, which gave my blood sugar levels time to realign themselves. I had a thick espresso while watching well-dressed Swedes stride across lively J�rntorget square. I could have stayed people-watching all day, but dragged myself away to look at the ornate Oscar Fredriks Kyrka, a neo-gothic church nearby on Prinsgatan.

It was a short walk from here to a slightly grittier part of town known as the "long streets" or Langgatan. Here tattoo parlours, punk shops and grand brownstones replaced pastels. In Dirty Records, the smell of dusty vinyl combined with the aroma of coffee from the in-store cafe. It has everything a record shop should have ? scuffed lino, piles of obscure albums, a man with an impossibly large quiff sitting behind the front desk. I supped a latte while discussing the merits of Matthias Hellberg & the White Moose versus the Jelly Bean Bandits with quiff man. After so much caffeine he became my new best friend.

For those after a slightly different kind of fika, Caf� och Konsthantverk, across the street, has multicoloured lights, huge cushions 1960s?style wallpaper (and an art gallery).

Gothenburg is shedding its industrial past and embracing a future filled with contemporary art and fashion-forward thinking. But I was keen to get a feel for the city away from the picture-perfect bohemia of both Haga and Langatan, so headed out to Majorna, a residential district. Busy roads gave way first to Soviet-style apartment blocks and then to avenues filled with art bookshops and crisscrossed by tramlines and lined with trees.

Men in overalls and boots were piling into Cafe Skogan on Mariaplan, the smell of steam and grease mixing with the salty Gothenburg air when they opened the door. Further on, on the wide open Mariagatan, Kaf� Marmelad (kafemarmelad.se) has huge pots of geraniums, a red and white check floor and chunky mugs creating a warm, homely atmosphere. Kissing goodbye to my hip bones I had another bun and another latte, hunkering down at a window seat to watch the low sun recast the view in gold.

My final bun of the day was in Soppakaffe, further down Karl Johansgatan. I sank into the sagging velvet sofa and caught sight of myself in a huge gothic-style mirror, my eyes wide. Cripes, no more caffeine for me, I thought, and felt I wouldn't want to see another cinnamon bun as long as I live.

But as long as you don't pack more than a couple into one day, embracing the fika concept is a sure bet for warding off the winter.

? The Avalon Hotel (+46 31 751 0200, avalonhotel.se) has doubles from around �150 a night. Flights to Gothenburg booked with Expedia.co.uk (with easyJet from Gatwick, Scandinavian Airlines from Heathrow, Ryanair from Stansted and Glasgow, City Airline from Birmingham and Manchester) start from �38. For more information see visitsweden.com


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Variable mortgage customers exposed to rate rises

With two-thirds of homeowners now on an SVR, and interest rate rises expected, borrowers must decide when to fix

The number of borrowers on standard variable rate (SVR) mortgages has risen to two-thirds, according to a recent Bank of England report ? a huge rise on the more recent five-year average of about a half. It leaves thousands of households exposed to the risk of interest rate rises.

The Bank of England has also warned that homeowners need to prepare for a series of interest rate rises to about 5% ? the "normalised" level. If the base rate were to rise by 5% from its current 0.5%, households would need to reduce their debts by 15% to bring the proportion of disposable income spent on repaying their mortgages down to the long-term average.

Howard Archer, economist at IHS Global Insight, says any early interest rate rise in 2011 would be "bad news" for the housing market and for borrowers. So where does that leave the thousands of people currently with variable rate mortgages?

Melanie Bien, director of independent mortgage broker Private Finance, says there is much disagreement as to when interest rates will rise, with no one knowing for sure. The key is to look at your own circumstances.

"If you would struggle to pay the mortgage if rates were to rise, then a fixed rate is the answer," she explains. "They are unlikely to get any cheaper. Indeed, lenders are starting to increase their fixed rates, so you may want to secure one sooner rather than later. If you wait until interest rates are rising, you will find that fixed rates will be priced much higher."

This was echoed by David Hollingworth of independent mortgage broker London & Country. "Borrowers have to focus on their own position and not think about anything else. If they cannot afford base rate rises then they should think about a fixed-term mortgage," he says.

He adds that it might make financial sense to wait until rates start rising before taking out a fixed-rate mortgage, but acknowledges they would then miss out on the very cheapest deals. "Those that have managed to put aside most of what they saved from being on a cheap SVR or used it to reduce the size of their mortgage will be in a decent position now, especially as loan-to-value (LTV) is so crucial to getting a good mortgage these days."

Bien says lenders will let you secure a mortgage rate up to six months before you take it out, so if you are currently on a cheap SVR it is possible to book a fix now, which you could move on to in a few months while continuing to enjoy the low variable rate in the meantime.

"Although two-year fixes are cheaper than five-year deals, there isn't much in it and the latter makes more sense in the current interest rate environment," Bien says. "If rates do start rising in the second part of next year, as many believe they will, those who take out a two-year fix now will have to remortgage again just when rates are higher. A five-year fix, on the other hand, gives you security for longer."

She adds there are some excellent fixed-rate mortgages available, but the best rates are only accessible for those with sizable deposits (or equity) of 25% or 40%. "Other borrowers, particularly first-time buyers with deposits of 10% or less, will find it much more difficult to get a mortgage, never mind at a competitive rate. Those with a 10% deposit can expect to pay a premium on the rate of around 2 percentage points compared with someone with a 25% deposit."

For remortgagers, Bien suggests NatWest's 3.75% five-year fix, up to 50% LTV with a �699 fee (which includes valuation and legal costs). For first-time buyers or those with little equity she highlights Skipton building society's 5.78% five-year fix, up to 90% LTV with a �995 fee.

For those fixing on short-term deals, Hollingworth suggests Hanley Economic's 2.85% two-year fix at 75% LTV with a �449 fee (includes valuation and legal costs); HSBC's 3.49% two-year fix at 80% LTV with a �399 fee (free legal work for remortgages); and the same bank's 3.24% three-year fix at 60% LTV with a �999 fee (free legal work for remortgages), but this product only launches on Christmas Eve.

Hollingworth also likes Skipton's 4.28% three-year fix at 85% LTV with a �995 fee (free valuation and legal work for remortgages); Royal Bank of Scotland's 3.75% five-year fix at 50% LTV with a �699 fee (available on remortgages only with free valuation and legal work); and Darlington building society's 3.99% five-year fix at 80% LTV with a �1,074 fee (free valuation in your local area).


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Conservation stories of 2010

The International Year of Biodiversity saw mixed fortunes for Earth's animals. Some species suffered further declines, but there were also conservation success stories to celebrate


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Going bald was a revelation | Steven Baxter

Men like Gordon Ramsay have no reason to fear the scalp. Accept your fate ? be bold, and be bald

At first, I ignored it. A couple of hairs appeared in the plughole while I was taking a shower, so what? Then more hair fell out. And a little more. My face was getting bigger; or, to put it another way, I was going bald. The long farewell to my follicles was beginning, and I was only 19.

It's a dilemma most balding men have to go through, but I encountered it earlier than most: should you try and cling on, or should you accept your fate? If we are to believe the tabloids, it's a dilemma being faced by celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay, who has been photographed emerging from a Los Angeles clinic, with the Daily Mail reporting he had been "thickening his thatch with a �30,000 hair transplant". Whether or not he has actually undergone the procedure, I feel a bit sorry for men who feel the need to augment their dwindling locks.

When my own strands began to struggle, I went for the scorched-earth option and shaved the lot off. I had seen the damage that hairplugs could do when they went wrong ? I had a lecturer at university who looked like he'd been attacked with a rake ? I didn't fancy the idea of taking those hair replacement treatments, and a Bobby Charlton would have been ridiculous in the 1990s.

But there was something else. I began to notice something. Something about the shape of my head, those delicately curved surfaces of naked skin ? it looked good. Yes, I was a spamhead. A baldy. A chrome-dome. That platinum blond bowlcut of infant-school days and the dangly ponytail of my late teenage years were just memories, but I didn't mind at all, because the first time I looked in the mirror at my bare scalp it just felt right. I felt like I had come home.

Whether it was the slaphead that made me attractive, or the new-found confidence I gained from having freed my noggin from its troublesome fuzz, I'll never know ? but my romantic life began to pick up. Far from the myth of Samson's locks, it seemed that it was the hair that had been draining me of my strength. Going bald was a revelation; if only I'd known sooner.

It helps, of course, that being a baldy is not as much of a source of ridicule as it used to be. Men may feel under some societal pressure to have a full head of hair, and you still see the odd poor soul wandering around with a syrup, or a combover, or an elaborate range of hats that they keep on indoors. I feel like reaching out to those chaps and saying "Be proud. Be strong. Don't fear the scalp. Be bold, and be bald." After all, what makes someone like Homer Simpson a figure of fun is not that he's bald, but that he keeps those strands of hair stretched across his pate ? he's not ready to accept his fate just yet.

As a spamhead, there are plenty of role models ? it began with Yul Brynner and Telly Savalas and was carried on with Daniel Benzali in Murder One and Ving Rhames in Pulp Fiction ? you could be bald and a tough guy. Not just that, but you can be funny (Harry Hill), a rock star (Billy Corgan) or a TV chef (Heston Blumenthal) with a shiny head, and no one bats an eyelid.

Take it from me ? being bald is the beginning, not the end. Be proud of your pate and go nude on top. It's a bit chilly in winter, but you'll grow to love it. Whatever you do, don't cling on and don't be vain; you can't hold back the tide. So here's my recipe for a happier life: clippers. Cut. Foam. Razor. Shave. Done. You'll never look back.


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Thursday, December 30, 2010

Sarkozy hopes for G8 boost at home

French president hopes that radical reform of the global financial system will win over a disillusioned French public before 2012 elections

Nicolas Sarkozy takes over the presidency of the G8 group of global powers this weekend, hoping his grand plan to reform the world economy will boost his flagging fortunes at home.

The French president has returned from a holiday in Morocco to prepare his annual New Year's address to the nation tonighttomorrow night and convince France he can bounce back from the worst year of his presidency.

With record low approval ratings, Sarkozy is the least popular French president since the second world war and faces a difficult re-election battle in 2012.

He has turned to the international stage to re-establish himself, increasingly accompanied by his wife, the singer Carla Bruni-Sarkozy. After the couple were pictured cooing over newborns at a maternity hospital, the French celebrity press this week speculated that Bruni-Sarkozy hoped for a baby in 2011 to boost her husband's re-election hopes. "A baby would lend the couple some credibility," Colombe Pringle, the Point de Vue editor who knows Bruni-Sarkozy well, told French radio.

Sarkozy's leadership of the G8's six western powers and Russia and China, as well as his rotating presidency of the G20 forum of the largest economies, will focus on his ambitious plans to overhaul the financial system. He wants a new monetary system that does not depend on the dollar, to eradicate tax havens, stabilise commodities markets and tax international transactions. French commentators have warned it could be too ambitious but Sarkozy has tried to style himself as the great "protector" of citizens' rights and has argued that international public opinion wants him to deliver a "more moral" banking world and the current "financial chaos" cannot continue.

Sarkozy will fly to Washington in the new year to discuss his plans with Barack Obama. But it will be harder to convince voters at home, as France struggles to bounce back from the economic downturn. More than two thirds of French people think "the worst of the crisis is still to come" and 61% think the G20 can not improve the global economy.

Sarkozy's televised New Year's speech will likely touch on plans to roll back his new tax laws, which are accused of squeezing the poor to hand rebates to the rich, as well as his promise for new dignified care for the elderly.

However, France's persistently high unemployment, low salaries and general mood of depression remains a problem. Even Patrick S�bastien, a mainstream TV host and a kind of French Bruce Forsyth, this week attacked Sarkozy as "the worst thing that could have happened to this country" and likened France to a dictatorship.

The president will criss-cross France personally delivering his new year wishes to difficult voter groups including farmers and fishermen in the coming weeks. MPs from the president's ruling UMP party are desperate to move on from a disastrous 2010 which saw them slaughtered in regional elections and left in control of only one of mainland France's 22 regions: Alsace.


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Hughes hopes to lure Samba to Fulham

? Christopher Samba unhappy at dismissal of Sam Allardyce
? Mark Hughes signed defender for Blackburn Rovers in 2007

Mark Hughes, the Fulham manager, is hoping to capitalise on Christopher Samba's apparent unhappiness at Blackburn Rovers by making a move for the defender when the transfer window opens.

Hughes was Blackburn's manager when Samba signed from Hertha Berlin for �450,000 in January 2007, and is keen to be reunited with a player he believes can make a big difference for a Fulham side struggling in 18th position.

Samba went public with his desire to leave Ewood Park after the club's new owners, the Venky's Group, sacked Sam Allardyce this month. Steve Kean, Allardyce's replacement, has since reported that Samba has changed his mind but Hughes believes he can attract a player who represents one of his more astute pieces of transfer business.

Hughes is also mulling over a move for another of his former players, Manchester City's unwanted striker Roque Santa Cruz, but has reservations about pinning his hopes on a player with such a persistent injury record.


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The climate change wake-up call

Developing countries shifted their stance in a year that started after failure in Copenhagen and ended with optimism at Canc�n

The year 2010 started inauspiciously with the spectacular failure of the climate talks in Copenhagen in December 2009. The recriminations continued well into 2010 and the failure was compounded by the mid-term elections in the US, where the victory of the more conservative Republicans who were against any action on climate change meant the loss of any domestic legislation from Washington. With the global recession adding to economic problems, for most of 2010 the tide of policy and public opinion in much of the rich world was against taking any actions on climate change.

In much of the developing world, however, the picture was quite different. For many of the heads of state who had attended a climate change summit for the first time in Copenhagen, it was a wake-up call to the importance of the problem, which most of them had hitherto not fully appreciated. Thus, with greater public awareness of the climate change issue, together with increasing climatic events, such as the devastating floods in Pakistan, the issue has taken on an importance it did not have before Copenhagen. Many countries in the developing world have been implementing significant initiatives.

Countries like China, India, Brazil and South Afrca have been taking strong actions on renewable energy, while the Maldives has committed itself to becoming carbon neutral in 10 years and Bangladesh has committed $200m from its national budget to implement its national climate change strategy and action plan.

Thus the main impetus for action on climate change has shifted from global policy making through the UN Framework Convention on Climate Change (UNFCCC) to actions at national and local levels, and from the developed countries to the developing world. This change was reflected in the Canc�n agreement, achieved this month at the 16th conference of parties (COP16) of the UNFCCC, taking action on adaptation, deforestation and technology transfer, while recognising that progress on global targets for reducing emissions of greenhouse gases through a legally binding treaty as a successor to the Kyoto protocol was not likely to be achieved anytime soon.

The Canc�n Adaptation Framework, with an adaptation committee able to support and undertake actions to support the most vulnerable developing countries, is one the most signficant outcomes from Canc�n and will enable actions that are already being undertaken in many vulnerable developing countries to get further impetus and support.

One area of progress is in community-based adaptation, where some of the poorest and most vulnerable communities are already taking action, which they share through periodic international conferences. The fourth international conference on community-based adaptation was held in February 2010 in Tanzania and the fifth and largest international conference is to be held in the last week of March 2011 in Bangladesh, where more than 250 participants from all over the world are expected to share their knowledge and experience around the theme of scaling up.

So while 2010 has been a challenging year for global policy on climate change, it has ended in a more optimistic, but also more realistic note that the battle is not lost but it is going to be a long struggle that is fought by many different actors on many different fronts, from the local to the national to the global. Next year will see that struggle being taken up on many different fronts with renewed vigour.


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Ofcom to demand further inquiry of Rupert Murdoch's BSkyB buyout

Competition Commission may now scrutinise bid but Jeremy Hunt could reject recommendation

The media regulator Ofcom is this week expected to recommend that Rupert Murdoch's �8bn controversial buyout of BSkyB should be subject to a further six-month long inquiry ? and in so doing hand culture secretary Jeremy Hunt the toughest political decision in his time in office.

On Friday, Ofcom's chief executive Ed Richards will send over the conclusions of a "public interest" inquiry into whether News Corporation's buyout of Sky will damage media plurality in the UK ? and while the document will initially remain confidential most expect the regulator to demand a further investigation by the Competition Commission.

That leaves Jeremy Hunt ? the cabinet minister suddenly brought into the inquiry after Vince Cable's ill-advised "war on Murdoch" comments ? with about 10 working days to decide whether to follow Ofcom's advice or not. Although his discretion is free, it will be a major surprise if he deviates from the interim verdict.

At issue is whether, by controlling 100% of BSkyB, Rupert Murdoch will have a disproportionate influence over the British media ? in which News Corp has unprecedented cross-media power with titles accounting for 37% of the newspaper sales and control of the biggest broadcaster by turnover in the UK.

Critics ? an unlikely alliance of normally competing Fleet Street owners, including the companies behind the Daily Mail, the Daily Telegraph, the Daily Mirror and the Guardian ? argue that the power and influence of a company with at least �7.5bn of UK turnover will inevitably lead to the diminution of rivals.

Contact between the owner of the Times and the Sun and Ofcom in the run-up to Christmas left insiders at News Corp's Wapping headquarters braced for a referral. But that has not stopped sniping between the two with News Corp complaining that Richards did not attend any pre-Christmas case conferences between the two sides.

Even Vince Cable's spectacular fall from grace just before Christmas, when the Liberal Democrat business secretary was stripped of his responsibilities for media regulation after he was secretly recorded saying: "I have declared war on Rupert Murdoch [pictured right] and I think I am going to win," is not expected to have changed that outcome because of the quasi-judicial nature of the Ofcom examination.

So sensitive is Ofcom's work on the Murdoch enquiry that Richards has had to take personal responsibility for it. The regulator only took Christmas Day and Boxing Day off to conclude an inquiry that has taken two months to tackle issues of Murdoch power over the British media that have been rumbling on for years.

Ofcom has only to meet a fairly low threshold to conclude that the Murdoch merger needs to be examined further. A lawyer advising one of the newspaper groups opposing the deal said: "All the regulator has to prove is that there is a potential for a reduction in plurality in the UK. If there is such a potential then it has to recommend that it be referred to the Competition Commission."

The regulator's conclusion passes to Jeremy Hunt and he then has about 10 working days to decide what to do ? a decision that in law he must take alone, and not in consultation with David Cameron or other members of the cabinet. James Murdoch, who runs News Corp's operations in Europe and Asia, and his team are hoping they will be given the chance to "make representations" to Hunt.

Before Christmas Labour queried whether Hunt was a "fit and proper person" to adjudicate, given that he has said: "It does seem to me that News Corp do control Sky already, so it isn't clear to me that in terms of media plurality there is a substantive change." However, Sir Gus O'Donnell, the cabinet secretary, said he was satisfied that Hunt had not pre-judged the issue.

If held, a Competition Commission inquiry would amount to a more exacting test of the issues. The second regulator would not necessarily follow the judgment of Ofcom. As in Ofcom's case, the commission's verdict is not binding on Hunt.

Why all the fuss?

Why does the sale matter so much?

News Corporation is the UK's largest newspaper publisher, printing more than one in three copies sold. Sky is the largest broadcaster, with turnover of �5.9bn against the BBC's �4.8bn. The Murdoch family say a merger makes good financial sense, but critics say it would create a media group of unprecedented power, in which newspapers could be bundled with a Sky subscription, or Sky sports content could be shown exclusively on Times and Sun websites.

Doesn't Murdoch already control Sky?

No, he owns 40% of the voting shares in News Corp. It in turn owns 39.1% of BSkyB, with others holding the rest. Although Rupert's son James is BSkyB's chairman, the two companies are separate entities.

What is the vital criterion?

Cross-media power. Cross-media ownership rarely triggers competition law concerns, because TV and papers are considered distinct markets. Ofcom, though, is judging the deal by "public interest" considerations: whether the number of independent voices in media will be reduced as a result of a super-Murdoch company. This is known as the media plurality test.


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Manchester City's Brian Kidd: Manchester United are title favourites

? City not getting carried away in pursuit of top-four finish
? 'There is a lot of hard work to come,' says assistant manager

Brian Kidd, the Manchester City assistant manager, believes the Premier League title is now "Manchester United's to lose" despite an encouraging first half of the season that has seen Roberto Mancini's side go joint top, level on 38 points with their city rivals, albeit having played two games more.

Kidd was Sir Alex Ferguson's No2 at Old Trafford between 1991 and 1998, during which time United won the league four times, and knows it takes more than pure ability to collect the major prizes. Handling pressure is also a crucial factor and for as long as it was plausible, the City manager, Mancini, dismissed his own side's chances of glory by claiming Chelsea would finish top "easily". Now Kidd is pointing to his old club as the likely champions come May.

"It's obviously Manchester United's to lose now," he said. "It is in their hands. You can't get away from that fact. They have been round the block and know how to win league titles. Their work is not done in January. Everyone gets kidded that they hit form about now but they start with their preparation in July and go on from that."

City host Blackpool on Saturday, the same day the transfer window opens, after collecting maximum points from the first two games of a four-match programme over Christmas and the new year. Reports have suggested that the Eastlands club are on the verge of signing the Wolfsburg striker Edin Dzeko and Kidd says that Mancini will only bring in players who can improve City's chances of challenging at the top of the table.

"I don't think it's right to speak about other players at other clubs," said Kidd. "Only one man will decide ? and that's the boss. If he feels he can improve the squad and there's a player available he will definitely explore that."

Although it is Mancini's preference to play one man up front ? usually the captain, Carlos Tevez, though Mario Balotelli scored a hat-trick in the role against Aston Villa on Tuesday ? the 24-year-old Dzeko would be a very useful battering ram, providing the Blues with a different option in a squad Kidd already feels is the best in the league.

"I wouldn't swap our squad for anyone else's," he said. "The lads have done terrifically well. It has always been a top-four place that we were aiming for and we are doing OK on that. But nobody is getting carried away and we know there is a lot of hard work to come."

Mancini intends to freshen up his side to face Blackpool ahead of a significant trip to Arsenal next Wednesday. Kolo Tour� is expected to return, along with J�r�me Boateng, Aleksandar Kolarov and Tevez as City look to become the first team to complete a league double over Ian Holloway's surprise packages.


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New travel frontiers for 2011

Dan Linstead editor of Wanderlust recommends new adventure tours to some of the world's most exciting outposts



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A beginner's guide to port

If you enjoyed a drop at Christmas, learning a little about port might help you appreciate it all year round

If you have the faintest idea to what I am referring when I ask "do you know the Bishop of Norwich?" then, like me, you must be a fan of port wines. We may no longer be the main consumers of port, that'll be the French, but Britain's part in the history of this now most underrated of drinks is a long and illustrious one. Even if for many it is one of the most confusing categories of wine and one that is incorrectly relegated to an annual glass at Christmas.

Port owes much of the thanks for its existence to the conflicts between the British and the French at the beginning of the 18th century. The might of the Royal Navy was used to blockade the French ports. This strangled the French economy but, more importantly, stopped the export of the French wines to dining tables across the channel.

In response, the British turned to their European allies, the Portuguese, and began buying large quantities of wine produced in the Douro valley, fortifying it with local brandy to raise the alcohol content so it would not spoil as it was shipped in barrels to be bottled back in England. This increase in alcohol also stopped fermentation dead in its tracks, leaving a greater amount of residual sugar and giving us the sweet wine that we are familiar with now and that was so in tune with British tastes then.

Even then, wine had been produced in the Duoro valley for centuries. There are records of viticulture back to the time of the later Roman period and it ranks as the third oldest wine DOC in the world after Chianti and Hungarian Tokaji. The searing temperatures in the region meant that although the wine was made in the Douro, it had to be taken downriver to the cooler coastal climate of Portugal's second city, Oporto, to be stored before shipping, and consequently became known as port.

Vast port warehouses soon began to spring up in the suburb of Vila Nova de Gaia across the river from the city. Many remain and carry familiar British names like Sanderman, Dows, Cockburn, Taylors and Croft, painted on their roofs in bright white lettering. All port had to be stored this way until 1986, when modern technology and a change in the strict DOC regulations allowed vineyards in the Douro to store their wines closer to home.

Quinta Do Noval, near the small town of Pinh�o, was the first producer to do this and I was invited to visit and find out more about the production process as well as the incredibly complex system of classification, which appears to leave as many of the producers baffled as it does customers.

Set amongst 150 hectares of beautiful terraced vineyards and overlooking the winding Douro river, Quinta Do Noval is stunning. Sales manager Rute Monteiro explained the Port production process over a tall glass of crisp, dry white port lengthened with tonic water while we dipped into large bowls of salted almonds plucked from the trees which dot the estate.

There are over 70 grapes permissible in the making of port, but only around 20 used with any great regularity and around eight here at Quinta Do Noval. These include Touriga Nacional, Touriga Franca, Tinto Cao and Tinta Roriz. It is not an easy process as, although the system of terraced vineyards serves to retain heat in the soil during colder evenings, it also means that mechanisation is all but impossible and much of the back-breaking work has to be done manually - during the six-week grape harvest, which normally begins in the first two weeks of September, they're crushed in the traditional way - under the feet of the local workers who supplement the regular staff. Not the prettiest of thoughts, but Rute reassured me. "It makes sure the grape seeds do not get crushed," he said. "They could make the final wine bitter."

Once the grapes are harvested, crushed, strained of debris and have been allowed to ferment, neutral grape spirit is added to the juices to raise the alcohol levels to the DOC specified 19-22% and to stop the fermentation process. The majority of this spirit comes from the Cognac region of France and the La Mancha area of neighbouring Spain. The wines are then transferred to oak barrels for the ageing process and it is at this point that the differences between how the different types of port wine are made become apparent. Although there are seemingly endless varieties of port, they can be separated into one of three categories.

White port

Made from grapes such as Malvaisa Fina, C�dega, Donzelinho Branco and Gouveioand, and aged briefly before bottling. Although there are aged white ports, the majority are meant to be drunk young and range from crisp dry wines, perfect to serve with tonic, ice and lemon or as a chilled accompaniment to seafood, to sweeter versions, which are excellent with desserts.

Ruby port

Ruby is the most widely produced style of port and is aged in large barrels known as Tonel (if they are laid down) or Balseiro (if they are upright). The large barrels prevent the wine from becoming oxidised so they retain the rich, dark red colour which is so often associated with port. They can be separated further into:

Ruby: aged for no more than three years in barrels or stainless steel vats and meant to be drunk young. They can be quite tannic and give strong notes of fruits, which make them perfect with berry based desserts.

Late Bottled Vintage: ? a relative newcomer, LBV's were created in the 1950s as a reaction to an economic crisis which meant that port producers were left with unsold vintage wines. They allowed the wine to stay in wood for a longer period of four to six years before bottling and produced a wine with lots of character, but lighter than traditional vintages.

Like vintage ports, LBVs are made from grapes grown in a single year and can be quite fruity with hints of plum, blackberries and vanilla on the nose, but are lighter in style than traditional vintage ports. Look for "traditional" LBV's which are unfiltered, and my own preference is to serve these wines with soft cheeses.

Vintage: Made from the very best grapes of a single year, the declaration of a vintage is a sign of an outstanding harvest. The wines are kept for just two years in wood and then bottled unfiltered. Great vintages can be kept for years, even decades.

They form a sediment when they are stored and the bottles should be kept laying down. The bottle should be turned upright one day before drinking, decanted two hours before serving and drunk within two days of being opened. They are best drunk at 17C and work wonderfully when served with dark chocolate or with good stilton. However, I think they are at their best on their own, allowing appreciation of the full complexity of the flavour.

Tawny ports

These are the port wines that the Portuguese most like to drink themselves and differ from ruby ports in that they are aged in smaller barrels. These allow the wine to oxidise giving it a "tawny" colour, their spicy, almost leathery smell, and a distinctive taste reminiscent of dried fruits and nuts.

The wines carry age statements which does not mean that all the grapes in the bottle come from the harvests of ten, 20, or even 40 years before, but reflects the average age of the grapes used which may be older or younger. This is heavily regulated by the DOC and all port wines must be submitted for evaluation before they are labelled. They are ready to be drunk the moment they are released.

As the wines have been oxidised already, once opened, they can be kept for much longer than ruby ports and are sold with stoppers rather than simple corks. Some 40-year-old tawnys will keep for up to a year. The inherent sweetness and distinctive tastes and smells of tawny ports make them ideal to finish off a rich meal, which is one of the reasons they have become so associated with Christmas.

Finally, and to confuse matters, you may see mention of tawny ports called Colheitas. These are made from the grapes of a single outstanding year and will carry that year on their label.

A tasting such as that which I was lucky enough to enjoy at Quinta Do Noval will confirm just how varied and complex a drink port can be. But what, you may be wondering, does any of this have to do with the Bishop of Norwich?

The saying apparently refers to a 19th century man of the cloth who was known as a decent sort, but also for being incredibly stingy when it came to passing around a drop of the good stuff. At the end of fashionable dinners as the port was being passed (to the left, a tradition that has its roots in the Royal Navy) asking directly for the decanter was considered very bad form. If desperation set in, the man who had held on to the port too long might be asked whether he was familiar with the Bishop; if he was, he would quickly realise his error and send it on its way, and if not, would be gently scolded by comparison to the clergyman with the words "He was an awfully good fellow, but he never did know when to pass the port." Having tasted some of the very best port wines at Quinta Do Noval, I can hardly blame him.


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Can't say my name? You only have to ask | Aminatta Forna

British people seem incapable of getting to grips with those pesky 'foreign' names. And, yes, I do mind

Delighted as I am to receive cards wishing me a happy new year, I can't help but notice the infinite variations of the spelling of my name. What is it, I wonder, that would make a person think it was less of a faux pas to massacre a person's name on paper than to check the spelling first? Couldn't they ask someone ? me, perhaps? Or Google? Instead they think, oh, I'll have a stab, it doesn't matter if I get it wrong. The subtext of which, broadly speaking, reads: it's a funny foreign name, so she won't mind.

In Britain there's an odd social awkwardness around unfamiliar names. Introductions often go something like this. Hello, I'm Aminatta. Blank stare. Am-a-what? Repeat name slowly syllable by syllable. Pause. My, that's an unusual name. Where does it come from? Does it mean anything? Well, sort of. I mean most names have a meaning like Peter, the Rock. But I know from experience the questioner is usually looking for something more, well, anthropological: Running Goat, perhaps, or She Who Has Been Asked This 1,000 Times. I say my name doesn't have a meaning and the disappointment is palpable.

I am lying, of course. My name means "honesty". At least that's what I've been told, just as girls called Jennifer are told their name means "beautiful". Aminatta is a name of Arabic/Muslim extraction. Amina bint Wahb was the mother of the Prophet Muhammad. Aminatta is a west African variation meaning "little Amina". Usually I can't be bothered to explain this. My father was a non-practising Muslim and I am not the least religious. Aminatta is a common name throughout west Africa, just like Mary. The last time I told someone my name was Muslim he said: "Hey, you're not going wage a jihad or anything?!" See what I mean? So if he'd just met someone called Mary, would he think it amusing to ask if she was still a virgin.

The British love to joke about people's names. None of this ever happens to me in Spain or Poland, in Kenya or California. If someone jokes about your name you are supposed to take it in good stead. But why? I don't joke about anyone's name, partly for fear of being thought a bore, and partly ? here we begin to risk accusations of PCGM (political correctness gone mad) ? because it seems in danger of insulting origins, bloodlines and nationalities.

"Oh I'll never remember that," said another chap. How, I wondered, did he ever learn a new word. Onomatopoeia, for instance? Sympathetic friends remind me that my name is "quite difficult" for some people, and yet the least ardent football fan seems capable of mastering Roman Abramovich, Sven-G�ran Eriksson, Emmanuel Adebayor.

And no it doesn't get shortened.

I am about to go to America. There, to my immense relief, there is no such awkwardness. Perhaps it is because the US is a more ethnically diverse society. Call an office, hotel, or helpline and the person at the other end will calmly ask: Can you spell that for me? Or: am I pronouncing that correctly, Miss Forna? Oh, you are, yes you are!

Curiously juxtaposed with the British inability to cope with a new name is a growing enthusiasm for unusual baby names: we're thinking of calling her Montserrat, say the pregnant couple, where she was conceived.

In Britain we need a new model of etiquette. Can we learn from our American friends? I don't expect you to get my name perfectly first time around. But spare me the quips and the questions. All I want you to do is ask, politely: am I pronouncing that correctly? And if you write to me, check the spelling first.


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Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Liverpool 0-1 Wolves

When discussing the emotions of managing a club bottom of the Premier League, Mick McCarthy replied that he disliked the sympathy that came with it, a combination he described as "shit and caramel". Since coming to Merseyside, Roy Hodgson has endured plenty of the former and been offered precious little of the latter.

There was little sweetness in the air around Anfield last night. The chants of "Hodgson for England" rang out from the Kop, mingling in with the more ominous and menacingly rhythmic sound of "Dalglish".

This was the final Premier League game of 2010, for which, let it be remembered, that Hodgson was voted manager of the year. Long before its end, he was cutting a desperately isolated figure on the touchline. Two of his three substitutions appeared to inflame Anfield: Ryan Babel was jeered on while Paul Konchesky was almost laughed off.

Liverpool had been outplayed by a club that before last night had won once at Anfield in 60 years. Hodgson thought it a worse performance than Liverpool's two other humiliations here this season: the defeats by Northampton and Blackpool. Sylvain Marveaux, the Rennes winger who is expected to become the first of Hodgson's signings in the January transfer window, was in the directors' box, although on this evidence, he may be tempted to change his mind.

Hodgson said he was trying to think of a different adjective to "disappointing". In the streets that hem in the old stadium, he would have been offered plenty of alternatives. Wolverhampton Wanderers' victory may have been unexpected but it was thoroughly deserved and the goal that sealed it had been coming.

Shortly before Stephen Ward scored his first Premier League goal, Pepe Reina had , for reasons best known to himself, passed straight to Sylvan Ebanks-Blake. Whatever Hodgson's critics may say, he cannot be held responsible for this kind of ineptitude. What followed was far worse. Sotirios Kyrgiakos could only clear the ball as far as Ebanks-Blake and the striker slid his pass through to Ward, who in turn slid his shot through Reina's legs. For McCarthy this was a kind of justice 12 months late ? Ward had been sent off here on Boxing Day last year with the Wolves manager adding pithily that ?��Pepe Reina had run 70 yards to make sure he was dismissed.?��

At Old Trafford earlier in the season, Wolves had been denied a point in the final minute, which saw McCarthy kick a nearby water bottle a sight harder than Babel kicked anything last night. There was little danger of a repetition. Martin Skrtel did put the ball into the net beneath the Kop, but the fact that possibly five Liverpool players were offside summed up the night.

"Most people's perception of Wolves would be, 'They are going down, they are bottom of the league and just been beaten at home by Wigan'," said McCarthy. "They would think we would come here, sit back, get our arses slapped and our bellies tickled and go home with nothing. But we decided we were not having that. We would come here and have a real go, and fortune favoured the brave."

A night laced with booing began with applause. They had put their hands together in memory of Avi Cohen and Bill Jones, men from different Liverpool generations ? the ones that won the league titles in 1980 and 1947 respectively, to be exact ? and both played in better teams than this one. For their previous game at Anfield Liverpool had given away free tickets to kids and entertained them with a stultifying Europa League contest with Utrecht in a game as devoid of meaning as it was shots at goal. This one was full price. Wolves are not exactly fearsome opponents in this corner of Merseyside.

Their one victory in six decades at Anfield had come, perversely, in 1984, the year Liverpool won a treble and Wolves finished last. They did not play like a bottom-of-the-table team. Wolves were aggressive and inventive when going forward, adjectives that could not be used about the home team, captained by Steven Gerrard for the first time since the 2-0 defeat at Stoke in mid-November. It is tempting to see Gerrard as a footballing Ricky Ponting, a great player who finds his career turning at a sporting institution teetering towards deep decline. He tried manfully but the only clear opening came from a delightful crossfield ball from Fernando Torres, played into Raul Meireles' path by George Elokobi. It was their only real chance and to borrow one of McCarthy's words, the shot contained far too much caramel.


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