Tom has to learn the secrets of the world's greatest lovers. They send him to Liverpool
This should be interesting: How to Live With Women (BBC3). How indeed? It's something I've often wondered. Carefully is probably the best answer I can come up with.
Tom lives with one ? Cherelle ? in Essex. But he's not doing it right. Things started off well. When they first met he thought she was bangin', she was well fit, he ain't gonna lie. And he loves her to bits, he wouldn't want anybody else, know what he means?
But then they moved in together, and it turns out Tom's a total waste of space. He doesn't have a job, so Cherelle has to have two. He spends most of her wages down the bookies. When he's not at the bookies he lies about on the sofa all day, expects her to wait on him. He doesn't do nothing, says Cherelle. She has to do the washing, the ironing, she has to run his bath for him . . . it will get to the stage where she's going to have to put his toothpaste on his toothbrush, that's how bad it's going to get, know what she means?
"That would be nice," says Tom.
"Know what I mean!" says Cherelle.
So Cherelle packs Tom off to live with some other women, three inspirational mentors, starting with chef Fiona in Cornwall. Fiona introduces Tom to the value of work; he does a bit of washing up, cleans out the bins, helps in the kitchen, feeds the chook. He has to earn his stripes, says Fiona. Or stroips, because she's a Kiwi.
Next, Tom needs to learn how to treat a lady right, because up until now his idea of a romantic night out has been sharing a kebab on a bench. Where to go? Who are the world's great romantics? Italians? Don't be daft, no. Scousers. Or perhaps it's down to BBC cuts. Anyway, Tom spends a couple of days in a Liverpool beauty salon to learn what true romance is all about, and how to treat a lady like a lady.
And the final part of Tom's education is to discover the value of money, and how to make a vegetable soup to feed 25 people for a just a fiver, from a lady vicar in Hull.
It's a bit baggy as an idea ? like Tool Academy meets Hell's Kitchen meets The Liver Birds meets The Vicar of Dibley, kinda. But it's still very entertaining to watch. And that's not because of Fiona the chef, or the makeup artist, or the vicar, or even Cherelle. It's all down to Tom, I'm afraid. He may be a slacker, and a scrounger, and a total waste of space, but he's also quite sweet and dead funny. A cheeky chappy with the gift of the gab. Know what I mean?
Perhaps Tom would have turned out better if he'd been to Lordswood school in Birmingham, as featured in Classroom Warriors ? Panorama (BBC1). One 12th of the staff at this boys' comprehensive are ex-military, and every week on cadet day a fifth of the pupils get dressed up as soldiers and the playground becomes a parade ground. In the gym they learn to shoot rifles.
It's part of a government plan to send the troops into Britain's troubled classrooms, to restore order and respect. Michael Gove is a big fan. "The presence of role models who have the sort of experience in taking young men and women and forging them into a cohesive team, and instilling discipline, I think that will be immensely valuable," he says. The big camouflaged society.
It's been done in the US, where the Troops to Teachers scheme was launched after the Gulf war, since when 15,000 ex-military have entered the teaching profession. The only difference is that they don't need to teach the shooting, because the children already know how to do that over there. Maybe they're allowed to bring their own weapons.
Anyway, it works, says Gove. School cadet forces, ex-squaddies in the staff room, it all helps to restore the virtues parents want in schools. Square bashing stops them bashing each other.
I suppose you could argue that the chalkface is not the same as the frontline, that education isn't just about teamwork and discipline, that schools shouldn't be run as boot camps, that perhaps some free-thinking and independence should be encouraged etc. But that's the kind of liberal, idealist, woolly, sandal-wearing nonsense you'd expect in the Guardian. Left, left, left right left.
Source: http://www.guardian.co.uk/tv-and-radio/2011/feb/28/how-to-live-with-women-tv-review
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